Sitting across from yet another teenager who had come in after an overdose, I found myself grappling with the complex web of emotions and circumstances that led to this moment. As we spoke, a startling realization dawned on me, sparking a journey of discovery and empathy that has defined my year.

As a paediatrician, I was seeing a high number of teenagers come in over and over again with mental health difficulties and I was beginning to feel a little helpless and started to wonder if I could do more. This conversation with a patient sent me on a journey of introspection which led me to start a project on mental health skills for teenagers called The Harmony and Healing Project.

So this teenager had been struggling with low mood and had had some suicidal thoughts for the last year. Her GP had given her some websites to check out for support but she hadn’t found them helpful. Like many teenagers, in this particular situation, it was hearing that her boyfriend had cheated on her that drove her to take her first drug overdose. 

I asked about the support she had around her and try to ascertain why she didn’t go to them for help and to remind her that she could go to them for help in the future. I asked about her mum; they got along, but she didn’t want to worry her mum.

I asked her about other activities she loved doing and she revealed that she loved singing. I asked where she sang and she said she sang in church.

I asked her why she didn’t go to her youth leader and the oddest thing happened. She sort of shrank back from  my question, like it was the worst idea ever, like she didn’t think her youth leader or choir leader would be able to help. That’s when it hit me.

If we can’t go to the church when we are struggling with our mental health, then the church is not being the church.

As I pondered on the possible reasons this teenager didn’t feel safe enough to go to her youth leader for help and support, all these questions started to come up for me:

* Was she aware that her youth leader, her choir leader, her pastor were all people she could go to for help and support when life gets difficult? I think the value and the role of the church may not be fully appreciated in today’s culture, especially when the believe that the government should and will solve all your problems and meet all your needs is prevalent. If you’ve never had to rely on the church to support you in times of difficulty, then it may not occur to you to go to the church for help when it’s needed.

* Was she afraid of being considered weak or defective? The fear of being stigmatized  is still one of the top reasons people don’t seek help when they are struggling.  The point that needs to be stressed here is that we are all susceptible to mental health difficulties the same way we can all struggle with our physical health. It’s something that can be triggered by a combination of life’s kicking you in the face, genes, hormones and so on. This can happen to the best of us but with the right support, we can go through it and experience healing and wholeness.

* If she had turned to her youth pastor for help, would he or she have been equipped to help her? Or would they have said let’s take you straight to the emergency department, where the likely outcome would be handing out some websites to chat with a complete stranger via web chat or by phone call and the doctor referring the teenager to the child and adolescent mental health service where the waiting times before the first appointment could be months, providing the referral is accepted. 

At the early stages of a crisis, an honest conversation and a listening ear may be all a teenager needs to pull through. This brings me to another startling revelation. A significant percentage of teenagers presenting to the emergency department with mental health crisis may be due to a series of missed opportunities and failures in the community. 

Think about it. Our teenagers come in contact daily with teachers, neighbours, youth workers, youth leaders, their peers, and members of their local church. If the prevailing culture is one of passing the buck to mental health workers, a group that is currently overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of referrals, then as a community, and as the church, we are failing in our duty.

I think of Prophet Elijah in 1 Kings 18:36-39, calling down fire from heaven in a feat of epic proportions, possibly the greatest miracle of that time. Then the very next day, he gets threatened, goes on the run and says he’s done, starts to feel suicidal and tells God to take his life (1 Kings 19). What happens next is a beautiful representation of how I believe God is calling the church to handle mental difficulties. 

1. God did not get angry at him for being week or call him out on his lack of faith, especially after the had just experienced the greatness of God’s power. People going through mental health difficulties should not be made to feel that if they just prayed more, or had more faith, this wouldn’t happen

2. Instead, God sent his angel to nurture him, providing him with food and drink and the time that he needed to heal. I especially love verse 7 and 8 (MSG): “The angel of God came back, shook him awake again, and said, “Get up and eat some more – you’ve got a long journey ahead of you. He got up, ate and drank his fill, and set out. Nourished by that meal, he walked…” God nurtured him, providing all he needed to keep going, starting from the bare essentials, food and water.  In what ways can we, as a community, support our members when they go through mental health difficulties.

3. This was then followed by a 40 day period of walking, doing the work to heal. Followed by a conversation with God, a time where God revealed to him who he was and brought fresh purpose and healing to him. Maybe as a community, we should see a disclosure of mental health struggles as a sign of strength which should be celebrated. Can we as a community, share the burden to care for our teenagers and educate our selves on how we can support the people around through this? 

Mental health illness affects one in six children now in the UK and suicide is now the leading cause of death in teenagers now in the UK. If a teenager approached you today and said they were struggling with their mental health, would you feel equipped to have a conversation about how they could improve their mental health? 

What if there was a tool box of mental health skills that we could give our children as we raise them, so if they fell on difficult times and started to struggle with their mental health in the future, they would have these skills to fall back on? What if as a community, we could strive to prevent the amount of mental health presentations to the hospital by supporting more teenagers in the community? 

This is what the harmony and healing project is all about and I am excited to present to you the first episode of the project. Watch it here and feel free to share it. If you would love to get involved with the project, please contact ebioginnimusic@gmail.com. I would love to hear any thoughts or comments you have. Let’s raise awareness on this incredibly important topic.

Author- Ebi Oginni, singer-songwriter, paediatrician and music business coach.