My name is Miriam Culy, though you might recognise me as “the girl with the stick” from UGCY 2024. I am now Head of the Writing Department for AStepFWD.

This is my story.

I joined Keele University Gospel Choir (KUGC) at the start of my third year of university. At the time I was in a dark place – during my second year I developed FND (functional neurological disorder) and became a wheelchair user practically overnight. I experienced drop attacks – suddenly collapsing to the ground if I stood or walked for more than a few seconds – and frequent seizures. I had lost my mobility and my independence, my self confidence and self image were in tatters. I had lost sight of who I was and of who God says I am.

In Keele Show Choir, which I’d been a part of since my first year, I hid a lot of what I was suffering made jokes about my disability to make others feel more comfortable (in our Les Miserables concert, I ironically had the solo line “sitting flat on your butt doesn’t buy any bread“… when I was the only choir member seated).

I enjoyed being part of Keele Show Choir, but I wasn’t being authentically myself. I was constantly filtering how I portrayed myself and my disability.

I was never made to feel like I had to do that in KUGC.

I turned up and was instantly welcomed with open arms and made to feel at home. They put everything in place to make their rehearsals accessible to me without batting an eyelid. When I had dissociative seizures in rehearsals, I wasn’t made to feel like I had to run away and hide, but our Welfare Officer – and fellow tenor – Melody would wrap me in a hug and sit with me, listening to everyone else sing, until I was ready. Their love towards me was unconditional and it made me start to realise how much of myself I had lost sight of.

They loved me as me: I could be myself with them, and they didn’t expect anything else from me. I had found a home, a family, a place to belong.

At UGCY 2023, the judges’ feedback to us was that there was so much love in the choir, that we all seemed so connected – which was absolutely true. It was a whirlwind experience and I came away on such a high. Most of our choir had never done a performance on that scale, and we learnt so much from the experience, the judges, and the other choirs.

Our vocal director, Amanda, was determined that at the next UGCY, we would be taken seriously as competitors.

One of the things that was so wonderful after UGCY 2023 was that we really dug into our choir and highlighted everyone’s strengths. There were constantly opportunities to learn and grow, with members taking turns to learn worship and our weekly Bible reflection, new assistant vocal directors helping teach parts, and freshers with musical know-how helping to device intricate harmonies.

Personally, I knew British Sign Language and taught the choir how to sign some of the songs we were doing. At our Black History Month performance, we signed ‘Oh Happy Day’ to a powerful effect – even if I do say so myself!

The choir’s momentum was growing with the amount of work we were putting in and the utilisation of everyone’s talents. We were all determined to do well at this year’s UGCY – and beat Kent Gospel Choir, the 2023 winners.

Personally, there was one other thing I really wanted at UGCY though – I wanted to stand and dance. I had seen amazing things in the last year, not least of which was that God had healed me of my dissociative seizures (there is no medical explanation, but they are gone!) and my mobility was starting to improve. I could stand or walk for a couple of minutes at a time before feeling weak and at risk of a drop attack.

Our UGCY medley was 7 minutes.

What was great about preparing for UGCY was that we had a goal to work towards. I knew that by March I wanted to be able to dance in the medley, and wow did we pray! Everyone in the choir was so supportive and came alongside me in my journey for healing. They celebrated every step (pun intended) of this journey with me, with encouragement and laughter and love.

By the time UGCY drew nearer, I knew it was unlikely I would be able to manage it without support, and learnt how to do the choreography with my walking stick. I even got myself a shiny red one to go with the red school uniforms of our dress code.

I got through our performance on prayer and adrenaline, a winning combination that saw me leaping for joy as I performed alongside my KUGC family.

I was so thrilled to have done it, and it was evident on the faces of everyone around me how proud they were of me.

I was not expecting to get singled out by the judges, with Anu Omideyi saying she had never seen anyone commit the way I had, in all the choirs she had worked with, and Karen Gibson commending me for the hope and inspiration I brought. To say I was gobsmacked feels like an understatement.

They say a picture tells a thousand words, so I think this one says it all:

We did it! (And it was definitely we, I never could have done it without them).

I was absolutely blown away by the love and support I received from the judges, volunteers and audience members alike, on top of the wild encouragement my choir were giving me. So many people told me that I’d encouraged them, and it really boosted my faith. God had delivered an answer to my prayer – I had danced our UGCY medley. And God was using me, even though I was disabled.

It felt amazing. And to top it all off, we came in 2nd place (and beat Kent Gospel Choir who came 3rd!). We also won Best Band. We were ecstatic!

But it didn’t end there.

After the event, Lorraine Wright asked in the UGCY Choir Member’s group chat if there were any writers who would like to write up an event review of UGCY for the AStepFWD website. I was in my final year of studying Philosophy at Keele, and planned on doing a MA in Creative Writing and Publishing at Bournemouth University come September, so I jumped at the chance, and wrote up a review of the event.

From there, I got in touch with AStepFWD and wrote up a couple more articles, such as an editorial for the International Day of Women in Music. I was combining two things I deeply loved – writing and gospel music. What more could I have asked for?

It turns out I hadn’t even imagined what door God was about to open.

When Dennis (Founder and CEO of AStepFWD) called me in May I expected a general ‘hey, we like the articles you’re writing, keep it up’. I never dreamed they would ask me to become Head of the Writing Department. That was the kind of thing I hoped to do after my Masters, I hadn’t even hoped to do something like that before I started.

Of course, I said yes.

By the end of 2024, I had published over 200 articles and press releases on the AStepFWD website, taken over as lead for the the writing department managing other writers and copy-editing their work, introduced a weekly editorial space ‘Thursday Thoughts’, and attended & wrote up the reviews for the StepFWD Awards.

In this time, I had also graduated from Keele and started my creative writing MA at Bournemouth, which I am loving.

Now it’s only 1 week til UGCY 2025 and I cannot wait to be there, only this time I won’t be singing… I’ll be writing.